host posted on March 21, 2007 04:57
Sitting in the Falmouth office of Hospice & Palliative Care of Cape Cod one recent Friday, I received a phone call from our medical director, Suzana Makowski, M.D., calling from our Hyannis headquarters. “Can you come over to our Mary McCarthy House in an hour? We’re going to have a wedding there today”. Now, the Mary McCarthy House in Sandwich is no ordinary house – it’s the Cape’s only hospice residence, designed specifically as a place where patients can live out their final days in peaceful and supportive surroundings. Though most of the organization’s 800 patients a year choose to receive services in their own homes, it’s a wonderful option for those who are not able to be cared for at home. It’s a beautiful but unusual choice for a wedding. None had ever taken place there before.
“Who’s getting married?” I asked, grabbing my coat. “The son of a patient,” she replied. “ He and his fiancé just drove up from Florida where they flew in from South America. They were planning to marry soon, but his mother asked if it could happen today in her room so she could be sure to see it. Oh, and can you pick up a cake on the way? The bride is at Meredith’s Bridal Shop in Mashpee Commons getting fitted right now.”
Hmmm – an hour to put together a wedding! I rushed to the car and drove straight to the Stop & Shop on Davis Straits in Falmouth. At first, the young woman at the bakery counter was a little disconcerted by my request to decorate a sheet cake with wedding roses in five minutes or less. But as I related the reason to her and the manager, they were delighted and offered to donate the cake. I’d never seen a cake decorated so quickly, suddenly blooming with lovely pink roses with green leaves.
As I drove down Palmer Avenue to head out to Route 6, it struck me that we ought to provide a bottle of champagne for the wedding. I swung in to Falmouth Wine and Spirits to buy a reasonable bottle, but once again, as I told the story, they were happy to donate the bubbly.
When I arrived at the McCarthy House, Dr. Makowski met me at the door. She explained that by making this event possible, we were helping our patient realize her wish, very much in keeping with the hospice model. “Our goals of care are not just treating a disease, but meeting the full range of needs of the patient and family. The patient wants everything to be in order and this is an important step for her. We are honoring her wish. That’s what hospice care is all about – going the extra mile beyond where normal medical care ends.”
Our hospice chaplain came down the hall in his robes, ready to perform the ceremony. As the hospice care model addresses the spiritual, psychological, emotional and physical needs of the patient and family, we have on staff chaplains, social workers, nurses, doctors, home health aides, and volunteers. The chaplains work with whatever clergy the patient chooses. In this case, the patient had requested our chaplain.
Within moments, the bride and groom appeared at the door. He was suave in a suit with a rose boutonniere, looking flushed and excited. The bride was radiant and trembling in a gorgeous cream silk wedding gown, complete with veil and beautiful formal bouquet. As I whipped out my camera, I wondered if a wedding with months of planning could be more perfect than this one put together in moments.
The sun shone in the big French doors as the couple stood before the chaplain. Judy Miskovsky, the mother of the groom, lay in her bed watching with pride, oxygen tank whirring softly, wearing a rose corsage as her son Michael Miskovsky and his fiancé Lucy pledged their vows in both English and Spanish, translated by Dr. Makowski. Michael’s brother Paul, a well-known Falmouth landscaper, and his fiancé Eva stood in the circle around them with old family friends Dolly and Paul Killeen. When the ceremony was complete. Judy whispered the words “thank you” to Dr. Makowski, and everyone raised their glasses in a toast.
I brought out the cake and was surprised to find another beautiful one had appeared on the table beside it. Dr. Makowski told me that Meredith’s Bridal Shop, which donated the use of the dress for the day, had called Mashpee Commons Florist who swiftly made the bouquet and corsages and donated them to the cause. Then Meredith’s also called the Tea Shoppe and they donated a cake as well. All had been happy to help hospice with such an unusual and moving event.
The groom explained that they had been waiting for a visa for a year for Lucy, who is a native of Columbia, and had just received it the previous Friday. “We arrived in Miami on Sunday and drove straight up here. When we told the doctor that Mom wanted some closure, it grew into something really sweet and family-oriented. It is such a good experience. And to have the whole community come together like this – that’s something that just doesn’t happen anymore”, he said, holding hands with his new bride.
His brother Paul added, “Everything was pulled together so quickly and was so well done. I can’t say enough about hospice and their unparalleled level of care and compassion.”
But it was Lucy who summed it up in her new English, eyes shining with happiness. “I have never seen so much love! Thank God for sending the angels to make my wedding perfect, so we could be here in time to share it with Michael’s mother.”